The Beatles are a beloved band from Liverpool, England. Since their humble beginnings in 1957, their songs have remained iconic and the band is widely hailed with refining the genre of rock ‘n’ roll that audiences continue to love today.
Having said that, the band is not without its dark secrets. During their run, The Beatles acquired their fair share of skeletons in their closet. Despite vigorous PR campaigns and years of attempting to sweep their shame under the rug, it is time the world finally found out the truth.
Here are 7 secrets The Beatles desperately tried to hide.
1. No Beetles
Despite their misleading name, each member of The Beatles were actually human!!
As much as they and mainstream media tried to hide it, there were no actual beetles in the band.
And honestly I can’t say I’m surprised.
That explains how they were able to play their instruments. As many entomologists will know, that is not something bugs are able to do.
2. Ringo Starr had a bellybutton
While Ringo spent most of his time sitting behind his drum kit in an attempt to conceal the truth, many behind the scenes sources have confirmed that the band’s drummer actually did have a bellybutton!
For years, die hard fans have been plagued by the question “Did Ringo Starr have a bellybutton??”
Many will notice how the status of the drummer’s bellybutton is never actually addressed in any of The Beatles songs. Not even once.
One would think that with such a big elephant in the room they could have thrown in a line like
“Penny lane is in my ears and in Ringo’s bellybutton"
Or maybe
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Ringo’s bellybutton comes to me. Singing words of wisdom let it be."
With such a pressing question being constantly ignored, one can only assume that this was a blatant cover up.
However, now the truth is out in the open and fans can rest assured that if he lifted up his shirt, Ringo would in fact have a bellybutton.
3. John Lennon’s name
John Lennon’s surname sounds like the word ‘lemon’. However on google images there are no pictures of John Lennon eating a lemon. Need I say more????
4. George Harrison NEVER actually went bowling with Jojo Siwa
Contrary to popular belief, George Harrison and Jojo Siwa never actually crossed paths let alone went bowling on a regular basis.
While Jojo Siwa was born in 2003, George Harrison had passed away 2 years earlier in 2001 making it extremely unlikely that they were friends.
Despite what The Beatles would want you to believe.
5. Here comes the sun
Despite their desperate attempts to hide the truth, original recordings of their hit single ‘Here Comes The Sun’ prove that the original lyrics to the song were ‘Here comes the Pickle Rick’.
While I have not listened to these recordings myself, my housemate’s friend Nick has and he assures me that they are extremely credible.
He also then informed me that “losersayswhat” which at first I was confused by but following a request for some clarification, he notified me that I was a loser.
6. I couldn’t think of a number 6.
7. Fortnite
Now we’ve all heard the stories but I can finally confirm that The Beatles were not actually professional Fortnite players!
It’s has long been a part of Beatles lore that they absolutely crushed nubes on Fortnite and made their fortunes streaming on twitch instead of making music but I can now confirm that this is not true!!
While The Beatles broke up in 1970, Fortnite didn’t come out until 2017 making it extremely unlikely that they played it as a band let alone poned nubes on it professionally.
In addition to this, The Beatles have a discography of over 150 songs. Many of which were extremely popular. These would make a more reasonable explanation for their wealth and fame rather than playing Fortnite which hadn’t been invented yet!
And there you have it. The truth is out.
The Beatles’ days of playing the public for fools are over and I for one say it’s about time.
Stay tuned for next week when I will be exposing music legend Elvis Presley for the fraud he is.
Ross McCarney 